man attempts eating milestone, falls short

for nearly 4 years, a new jersey native, commonly known to his family and friends as "the dolch", touted his innate ability to consume large quantities of mozzarella sticks. an exact number was mentioned from the get-go...40 sticks...in one sitting...no time limit.



after years propaganda and false promises, the dolch finally agreed to accept the challenge. this past May he stomached only 22 1/2 sticks, falling 17 1/2 sticks short of the promised goal. he blamed his inability to live up to his trash talking on "mushy sticks"...and the absence of stick lubricant (and his favorite soup), marinara sauce.



well, it appears the dolce is up to his old tricks. an anonymous source has informed our editor that the dolch thinks he can still break his aforementioned record. our source also indicated that he ate "...16 sticks..." as a snack while sitting at home last saturday night watching re-runs of 90210 on Soap Net.

question remains, is the dolch willing to accept a new challenge??